he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
