ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize