You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
