he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Let's get the cat blown out
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
