He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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