I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
