So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
