4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
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