I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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