Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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