i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
