sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
