Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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