I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
