in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
