On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I have feelings that need drinking.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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