He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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