all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
