hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize