I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
