Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Randomize
