Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
