Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
