it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Holy sore nipples Batman
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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