so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
