You work out of a Hotel?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Randomize