So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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