I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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