He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
