so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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