We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
