i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Are my feet made of real feet?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I need water and some morals
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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