what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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