We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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