she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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