Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
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