I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
