Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
