he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
