So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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