I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
