From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
this is an emotional support booty call
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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