You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She bit a glass in half.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
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