i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
