Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
