Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
