my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
