Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
