he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
