Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
