Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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