im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
