We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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