I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I have post one night stand depression
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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