how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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