He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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