You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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