So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
