They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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