She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
