He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
