"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
