So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
